27 nov Step on board of a helicopter!
What is to be done when you are having an argument with your partner and you feel that you are being misunderstood? You’re short of time and so there is little time to talk it through and besides, you’re both feeling frustrated and possibly therefore are not necessarily receptive to the other person’s point of view….. By this stage, you are both acting on another level which is why miscommunication and misunderstanding perpetuates.
This is what happened to me last weekend. My husband and I were invited to attend a party in the southern part of the Netherlands. We had planned a nice get-away together for the weekend. 2 days in Maastricht and spending the night in a small hotel. Then several things happened which meant that my husband didn’t feel like going out for the weekend. He said he had changed his mind and explained that because of what had happened, he needed time to himself and he was not going to come with me. My immediate reaction was that yes, what had happened was rubbish but wasn’t it great that we had a weekend planned for the both of us! In the meanwhile, it was almost time to go….
Article: Step on board of a helicopter!
Can you relate to this? May be you can also see how your ego plays a part in this too? The question is, would you like your ego to be right? Or would you like to have a deeper insight into the situation and as a result be on the same level with the other person and able to communicate?
For the last option, it is neccessary that you distance yourself from the situation. If you stay where you are, i.e. in your own position – I call this the first position – you stay there and it can be difficult to look beyond this.
Imagine stepping into a helicopter and having a look from there – I call this the third position – ask yourself: what exactly is happening here, with no judgement, purely the facts! Then look at yourself: so look from the third position to the first position. Consider what you see now, purely the facts, without judgement!
Now, step into the position of the other person involved, this is the second position. Place yourself in their shoes when faced with this situation. Consider what the other person thinks, says and would do in this situation. Also feel how it feels for them!
Now step out of this position and enter the third position again, the helicopter view. Have a look at the same situation. What do you see, from this third position?
Then, step into the first position. Meaning, “into yourself”. What has changed being in this first position after all you have observed and noticed in the other positions? What does observing a situation from different positions, bring to you?
- What has changed?
- Now, what are your thoughts?
- Now, what do you feel?
- Now, what do you do?
This is an exercise worth doing. Especially when the person concerned is someone you love. It offers real benefits and can also be used in other situations with different people.
Always remember that you have a choice; a choice to look at a different angle, it is up to you to decide to….!!!
As always, I am looking forward to be hearing your thoughts and reaction to this article and also your experiences with this!
If you need any help, please contact me by responding to this email. I guarantee that I will respond to your email within 24 hoursand you will be very welcome!
In the meantime, I wish you safe flights and happy landings!